Manual of Perfect Citizens: A Satire

The satires are meant to be exaggerated as they forewarn us of the possible dangers. This satire by K.G. Sharma critiques how societies can package freedom into something hollow, turning autonomy into compliance.

Manual of Perfect Citizens: A Satire

Krishan Gopal Sharma

“Order is freedom, and freedom is orderly.”

I. Preliminary Congratulations
Citizens are hereby congratulated for surviving the previous era of excessive freedom. It has been determined that liberty, in its raw and unregulated form, was unnecessarily heavy. It caused confusion, required judgment, and—worst of all—allowed imagination. Therefore, freedom has been revised, clarified, and packaged. You are now free to speak, think, and believe—provided it is convenient, verifiable, and pre-approved.

II. On Safety, Prevention, and Happiness
All citizens are now protected from future harm. Some may find themselves detained from actions they have not yet taken. Others are guided away from associations they might later regret. A select few are warned about thoughts they have not yet fully formed. This is not punishment. It is foresightful care. For what is happiness if it is earned through trial and error?

III. Spatial Harmony
Communities are now geometrically optimised. Proximity between citizens is managed to prevent unintended friendship, collaboration, or sympathy. Distance is not isolation—it is efficiency. Questions are dangerous. Curiosity is inconvenient. Intimacy is an error waiting to happen. Because what is coexistence if it risks intimacy, understanding, or empathy?

IV. The Refinement of Women
Women, previously exposed to the caprices of autonomy, have been carefully adjusted to safer parameters. Choice has been streamlined. Love has been rerouted into approved channels. Opinions may be expressed in tones calibrated for public comfort. This is not limitation. This is  enhanced protection. After all, what is liberty if it might harm its owner?

V. Faith in the Proper Places
Belief has been reorganised. Random transformations of faith are now discouraged. Sudden doubts, wandering convictions, or experimental devotion are carefully documented, verified, and stabilised. Faith is no longer private; it is shared, monitored, and coherent. Because what is devotion if it cannot be contained?

VI. The Careful Mind
Intellectual curiosity has been systematised. Questions are now sorted: approved, guided, or suppressed. Thought is linear. Inquiry is bounded. Disagreement is routed through official channels to prevent confusion. Debate, when necessary, is concise. Understanding, once achieved, is final. For what is intelligence if it refuses to stop at order?

VII. Assemblies and Celebration
Gatherings are permitted only when predictable, affirmative, or harmonious. Unstructured meetings are classified as Potential Disorder Units. Their participants may be redirected to Guided Participation Spaces. Spontaneity is inefficient. Surprise is disruptive. Because what is expression if it cannot be measured, managed, or anticipated?

VIII. Observation and Privacy
Citizens are continuously visible to the Protective Oversight Apparatus. Privacy, while technically retained, has been simplified. Unobserved error is now impossible. Accidental deviation is no longer a threat. You may rest, knowing the system sees you, understands you, and occasionally corrects you — gently.

IX. The Perfect Logic
And then came the ultimate solution, delivered in tones of polite efficiency: “The people had forfeited the confidence of the government; In that case, would it not be easier for the government
To dissolve the people
And elect another?”
– Bertolt Brecht, The Solution
It was perfect logic. The system had solved the problem of unpredictability.. People themselves had become optional.

X. The Resolution
In the end, everything worked beautifully. Mistakes were rare. Conflicts were almost nonexistent. Doubts followed strict schedules. Citizens learned the contours of perfection. Those who still felt otherwise were gently informed: Essentials do not disappear—they are preserved, protected, and perfected until unrecognisable. And those who objected…were quietly reminded that the system had already solved that problem. “Perfection is not an achievement—it is a method. And methods, unlike humans, do not misbehave.”
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Author's Disclaimer: All rules, perfections, and proclamations in this work are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people, governments, or laws is entirely coincidental. All absurdities, rules, and “perfections” are invented for literary and ironic effect only.

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Krishan Gopal Sharma; kgsharma1@gmail.com; Freelance journalist, retired from Indian Information Services. Former senior editor with DD News, AIR News, and PIB. Consultant with UNICEF Nigeria. Covered BRICS, ASEAN, Metropolis summits and contributed to national and international media.

(Views are personal.)