Death must be talked about over, and over again

Sudhirendar Sharma | विविध | Sep 18, 2024 | 239

Talking about ‘death’ in our society is taboo, and surprisingly so when death is all around. Death as a subject of conversation is a big NO. Even death at the ripe age of 90 plus is regretted. It gets talked about after it has actually happened, as Yudhisthira remarked (in Mahabharata): “The greatest wonder is that everyday death strikes, yet we live as if we were immortal." Death is permanent, but avoiding death as a subject of discussion seems to be the dictum. Come to think of it, ours is a death-avoidant society.

But for Iranians, talking about ‘death’ is natural. Since they often buy burial land, an Iranian once told me, that having a family picnic on such landed property is normal. Their only child would often insist on being buried between parents. This shows cultural acceptance of ‘death’ as an integral part of life. They consider ‘life’ to be trapped between ‘birth’ and ‘death’, as a package of sorts. Death literacy has been socially and culturally accepted.

Primitive societies are known to have celebrated ‘death’, and few instances remain of counting death as a ‘virtue’. If ‘death’ actually means ‘re-birth’, it is said, then why must it not be a cause for celebration? Ironically, rebirth remains more of a myth - an issue worthy of discussion. Not ever is an effort made to read scriptures differently to understand death as an integral part of life.

Whatever be it, can anyone escape the reality of death? Why then avoid talking about ‘death’? Such cultural reluctance to talk about death results in avoiding major decisions - type and need of end-care; organ/body donation; and choice of funeral preferences. Unsurprisingly, India ranks 67 among 85 countries on the Global Quality of Death Index.

Death is not talked about because we all want to live longer. We want to be in control until the very end.  Death is viewed as a realm of human condition, that can be medically avoided. In a landmark work of cultural history ‘The Work of the Dead’ (Princeton Univ Press), Thomas Laqueur examines how societies have cared about the dead, without any effort towards discussing the subject of ‘death’. However, in recent days ‘death cafe’ has emerged in many cities where ‘death’ as a subject gets talked about.



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